Thank you for all your prayers this past week. It hasn’t been ideal since I haven’t been able to post anything lately. The last blog I wrote was erased because I did not save it correctly. It was really good but perhaps God was hindering me from sending it out since it was a bit critical of my time thus far.
I have always been transparent on these blogs, perhaps even to a fault. But, I want to be realistic and paint a picture of what I’m seeing and feeling in an authentic way. What I fear happens is that people could read about what I’m doing and assume everything is perfect all the time and create a unrealistic perception of what I do and the perceived holiness of it. My hope and prayer is that you are inspired to say, “despite, what this world would tell me, I will go after that dream or vision God has given me. I will be intentional and missional at my workplace.” I don’t want to sugar coat anything, but I need you to know it all been worth it.
My mom commented that the two blogs sounded like they were from two different people and that honestly affected me quite a bit. I know that God doesn’t call us to be double-minded and it was quite a rebuke- one clearly done out of love.
Writing this, I don’t know what I’ve already written and since the internet firewall here does not allow me to view my current blog, I’m not sure if I’m repeating myself. Basically, since hearing from God that I needed to be here- I had expected and assumed ( I need not remind you of what happens when we assume) that there would be fireworks here or perhaps the hand of God throwing lightning bolts upon my arrival. Nothing like that has happened. I remember a mentor of mine describing his experience arriving in Alaska to serve and share the Kingdom of God with the people there and he told me the land and God spoke to him.- that’s what I wanted. Maybe the voice is a subtle whisper like what Elijah experienced. Maybe I still haven’t found what I’m looking for as the great theologian Bono would say.
When I thought about getting to Lebanon and potentially even getting a job I thought about really being able to add to the artistic community through photography and editing poorly designed/worded menus and store fronts. But I have to say- I’m learning a thing or two from them. My hope was to offer them something in addition to the freedom of God’s Kingdom through Christ. Don’t get me wrong- Christ is enough! Christ also spoke and provided for specific needs and was an integral part of every community he visited. Fancy church people call this ‘incarnational.’ Basically that we would be Jesus to people where we are.
I think it comes down to an issue of expectations. My expectations of what I offered perhaps was a little (or even a lot) inflated. This is clearly a prideful mentality. Perhaps the ideal situation would be to come expectantly to see and experience what God is already doing and what he could do. While at the same time, ridding myself of any personal expectations which have a tendency of needing to be changed, revisited and tweaked. Unmet expectations plague all sorts of relationships and interactions, so I think it’s important to recognize that early- adjust and allow God to really direct these things that are fragile and can so quickly produce disappointment.
Currently, things are going much better and I’ve had the pleasure of hashing this out with God. My next post will have some more of the specifics of the people we have met and the things we’re learning. Needless to say your prayers are working and I covet them now more than ever.
Here’s a great quote from William Carey (known for bringing gospel to India) to leave you with:
“Expect great things FROM God!
Attempt great things FOR God!”
